Blame Culture in Schools May Harm Parents’ Mental Health When Children Face Attendance Challenges

In recent years, an alarming rise in school absenteeism has cast a spotlight on a largely underexplored aspect of contemporary education: school distress. In the United Kingdom alone, statistics from the 2022-23 school year reveal that approximately one in every 50 students missed over half of their schooling, highlighting a profound crisis in student attendance. Unlike traditional notions of truancy, this phenomenon is deeply rooted in emotional and psychological distress linked to attending school, a condition researchers have termed “school distress.” Notably, the majority of these students were found to be neurodivergent or diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders, emphasizing the complex neurodevelopmental underpinnings of attendance difficulties.

While much attention has focused on the experiences and challenges faced directly by children and adolescents suffering from school distress, a groundbreaking study shifts the lens toward the families behind these students — particularly the parents who shoulder the emotional and logistical weight of this crisis. Led by Dr. Sinéad Mullally of Newcastle University, the first large-scale investigation into the parental lived experience of school distress reveals a profoundly detrimental impact on parents’ mental health and overall wellbeing, challenging pre-existing narratives that stigmatize families or cast blame upon caregiving deficiencies.

This pioneering research involved a comprehensive survey of more than 1,100 parents, with significant representation from those parenting children currently enduring school distress as well as those with past experience. Through detailed self-report measures including daily mood and anxiety ratings, the study meticulously charted the pervasive toll of school distress on parental lives. From compromised mental and physical health to impaired career trajectories and strained family dynamics, the data paint a stark picture: for half of these parents, new mental health diagnoses emerged since the onset of their child’s difficulties, suggesting the causal role of chronic stress as opposed to parental pathology.

From a psychological perspective, parents described their experience of supporting children through school attendance challenges as one of the most threatening life events imaginable. Comparative analyses within the study revealed that this stress eclipses even serious personal illnesses or injuries in perceived severity. This finding foregrounds the urgent need to reconceptualize school distress not merely as an issue of student behavior, but as a systemic crisis exerting a ripple effect across familial ecosystems.

Beyond individual hardship, the study illuminates a systemic breakdown in relationships between parents and educational institutions. Nearly 78% of parents reported feeling that their concerns and insights were dismissed or doubted by school professionals, fostering a deep erosion of trust. This distrust is compounded by a persistent culture of blame within some educational settings, where parents encounter hostile or punitive attitudes instead of support. Such adversarial dynamics exacerbate parental disempowerment and inflict additional emotional injury, underscoring the necessity for structural reforms centered on inclusivity and collaboration.

The repercussions extend further than parent-school interactions. Families struggle with significant financial pressures arising from medical costs, missed work opportunities, and additional caregiving responsibilities. Moreover, the wellbeing of siblings and the broader family unit is often jeopardized, creating a multifaceted burden that compromises family stability. These multidimensional stressors signal the need for integrated support mechanisms that address both educational and familial domains.

Intriguingly, the research highlights the vital role of peer and community support networks. Parents emphasized that their primary sources of resilience and hope are peer groups where lived experiences are shared and validated. Organizations such as Not Fine in School and Team Square Peg also offer critical resources and advocacy, filling significant gaps left by formal education structures. These findings suggest that bolstering community-based supports could be a key strategy to mitigate parental distress and empower families navigating school attendance challenges.

Educational professionals themselves expressed a desire for enhanced training and resources to better support students experiencing school distress. About 60% of educators surveyed signaled interest in further professional development specifically tailored to this issue, acknowledging the complexity of neurodivergent presentations and the limitations of existing pedagogical models. Such professional investment could foster empathetic engagement and reduce the adversarial dynamics currently prevalent in many school-family interactions.

Despite the robust dataset, the authors caution about certain limitations. The study sample had an overrepresentation of White families, potentially obscuring the experiences of ethnically diverse or marginalized populations who may face additional cultural and systemic barriers. Furthermore, the most severely affected families may have been underrepresented due to the practical constraints of participation, hinting at an even more profound crisis yet to be fully understood. These gaps highlight urgent avenues for future research aimed at capturing a fuller spectrum of lived realities.

Fundamentally, this research reorients the discourse around school attendance difficulties from simplistic notions of “school refusal” or parental failure to a complex interaction of neurodivergence, systemic barriers, and relational trauma. Dr. Mullally emphasizes that effective solutions must prioritize fostering safe and trusting home-school relationships, which previous studies have shown to be pivotal to reintegrating affected students into educational environments. This relational framework challenges entrenched punitive paradigms and moves toward a holistic, compassionate model of support.

The implications of these findings resonate far beyond the immediate context of UK schools. As educational systems worldwide grapple with increasing diversity and build inclusive frameworks, understanding the lived experiences of families coping with school distress becomes critical. This research not only spotlights an overlooked dimension of mental health in education but also calls for interdisciplinary collaboration spanning psychiatry, education, social work, and policy to co-create environments where neurodivergent children and their families can thrive.

In conclusion, the study sheds vital light on the hidden crisis faced by parents of children with school distress, revealing profound impacts on mental health, family dynamics, and trust in educational institutions. Moving forward, addressing this crisis requires systemic reforms that dismantle blame-based frameworks, enhance professional training, provide robust community support, and prioritize nurturing home-school partnerships. As the education landscape evolves, embracing the complexities illuminated by this research is essential to fostering equitable and compassionate learning environments for all.

Subject of Research: People

Article Title: “I felt shamed and blamed”: An exploration of the parental lived experience of School Distress

News Publication Date: 24-Apr-2025

Web References:
DOI: 10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1489316

References: Included within the DOI-linked article

Image Credits: Not specified

Keywords: school distress, parental mental health, neurodivergence, autism, school absenteeism, education system, home-school relationships, mental health, neurodevelopmental disorders, school attendance difficulties, parental support, educational professionals

Tags: autism spectrum disorder and attendanceblame culture in educationeducational psychology researchemotional distress in schoolsemotional toll on familiesimpact on parents’ mental healthneurodivergent student challengesparental lived experiencesschool absenteeism crisisschool distress phenomenonstigma surrounding school attendancesupport for parents of neurodivergent children